One degree from having the life you imagine…

Matters of the Heart

Dear Julia,

This is about the sixth time I have started this letter to you and I’m still not sure where it’s going. I’m on the wrong side of a relationship. I’d like to think we can be great friends. Something is in the way. Three months ago I wanted to marry this woman. I loved who I thought she was. Today I am seeing a different person. My first and biggest obstacle is she is in a committed relationship. Every time I’m about ready to accept this she does or says something that would have me think different. I’m feeling pushed and pulled from her. Why can’t she simply state where she is and stand to that. Her words aren’t matching her music. She’s becoming abusive towards me now. What is it that she wants?

Sincerely

Matters of the heart 

 

Dear Matters of the Heart,

I ‘d like to think if you were great friends you would still be together. You have all the answers within yourself; you will not find your answers in her.  I suggest you read your letter a week or two from now, and the answers will open up for you, and remember to always be accountable for your own actions, this is not about what she is doing , this is about how you are being, that is letting you feel this way. You would not be choosing to be taffy if there wasn’t a payoff in it for you. I can only guess as to why she is the way she is, and does it really matter? What do you want? Figure her out? And then what get back together?

Wrong side? Are you ready to really let go? The key is you loved who you thought she was.  I pose this question to you. Are you in love with love? Now mind you there is nothing wrong with wanting love, however needing love , will have people be in what I call fantasy relationships, will have people suffice, will have people never truly know love, because their filling their own gaps. I believe you attract in another, what you lack in yourself. My guess, her M.O.  is such that she gets her power from others suffering, and loves having vigils lit for her.

Now here is my advice, what is it you want, truly want, in a mate. Not need, want. How do you get to a place of want?  Fill your own needs, and then you will attract that special someone who is just the icing not the cake.

 

Warmest Thoughts and Prayers,
Julia Renfro
Result Coach, Author